Looking for the Silver Linings

Life is not easy.  That might be the understatement of the year.  However, if the only things you focus on are the negatives, you may feel like you will never get out of the pit you feel like you are in.  For example, as a school teacher, it was super easy for me to fall into the negativity of others.  Some of our negative conversations would go something like this;  "How am I supposed to find time in my day to do that?", "How did that teacher get all the smart kids and I got the ones who can't pass a test?", or even "I can't believe the Principal expects us to do that, has he ever taught (insert subject here)?".  It is easy for me to get pulled into negativity.  I also honestly believe that for reasons I don't yet understand, females struggle way more in this department than men do (although I haven't ever been a man so I can't confirm that).
I would say for at least the past 7 or 8 years (apparently I am a slow learner), God has been dealing with me in the department of negativity.  I know there have been many times I found myself in one of the conversations I mentioned, only to later walk back to my classroom or drive home feeling incredibly convicted for allowing myself to get so negative.  So how in the world can we get out of that realm of negativity?  As with all things, I believe that the answer to that lies in the Bible.
"Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.  Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." Philippians 4:8 NLT.
For people who have been around church their whole life, that verse may be a familiar one that has perhaps become a cliche that they just say but don't mean.  However, if you really consider the verse, it is pretty revealing about how to get out of negativity.  When you "fix your eyes" on something you choose to look at and focus on that thing.  It is a choice to look or not look.  This verse says to "fix your thoughts" on all those things.  That tells me that we must choose to think true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and admirable thoughts.  We have a choice.  Is it honorable to talk bad about your boss?  Is it admirable to tell your co-workers what a bad teacher so-and-so is?  We have to make a choice to change our way of thinking.  When our internal thoughts, or external conversations, turn to those negative places, we must choose to think instead of things that are "excellent and worthy of praise".
I have found during the various ups and downs of my own life, that when I start allowing my thoughts to go to places of negativity, that I find myself feeling more discouraged or even depressed.  I also have found that when I am around people who always find the negative in every circumstance, that I am easily pulled that direction.  I think that as we mature as Christians, it is vitally important to learn from our mistakes and work to not make the same mistakes over and over.  I know that one thing I have tried to do, is avoid situations where I might get pulled into negativity.  As a teacher, I had to pretty much completely stop going to the teachers' lounge during lunch because that was a hot spot for negativity.  I also learned what teachers to spend my time with, and the ones not to.  It's the same in my personal life.  If I spend too much time with negative people, I become negative.  I try to focus my time and energy with people who are encouraging and optimistic.
Joyce Meyer has an amazing book that so many people have read called Battlefield of the Mind.  If you haven't read it, I highly recommend that you pick up or borrow a copy.  In it she talks about how the enemy uses our minds to keep us from God's best.  I really think that is the key.  If Satan can keep our minds focused on negativity and being frustrated, then we will never fully enjoy our lives.  If he can identify something negative in every circumstance we are in, we will always be miserable and looking for the next best thing.  However, if we can choose to allow God to renew our way of thinking, he can show us what he has for us.  "Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.  Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." Romans 12:2 NLT.
We must choose to find the silver lining to every cloud that rolls our way.  That is incredibly easy for me to do when I am looking in the rear view mirror, however, no matter how many victories God takes me though, I have such a hard time seeing positives in the midst of a struggle.  I find that remembering that we are looking at every situation in our lives from ground level, and God sees things from 10,000 feet, tends to ease my worries some.  "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him." 1 Corinthians 2:9 NLT.  He sees the beginning and the end, as well as everything in between.
One of the darkest moments of my life so far was almost exactly 7 years ago.  It was the moment I found out that I was getting laid off of a job I loved.  I had so much of my identity tied up in what I did for a living that I was completely devastated.  However, without going into all the details at this time, I can now tell you that it was actually a blessing.  Because of being laid off I learned incredible lessons about trusting God and perseverance through trials.  I also switched professions completely and started teaching during that time, something I would have likely never done otherwise.  I have been incredibly blessed by the people I have met and worked with over the past 6 years in education.  Because of that trial, I now see things through a bit of a different lens.  I am learning how to seek God's blessings even in the midst of trying times.  I hope that if you are in a time of trial and testing, that you too will choose to find the silver lining and remember that God is working behind the scenes, no matter how dark your circumstances.
  

Working Unto the Lord in ALL Circumstances

Several months ago, I had a conversation with a young man who was a student of mine that has really stuck with me.  The teacher who had taught in the position I was now in, although a really nice person, did not have much structure in the classroom.  The students were always moaning and groaning about having to actually learn things in Ag class because they were use to messing around in the shop or just sitting around talking or playing cards.  This particular student was a great kid, but he surprised me a little with his question.  He asked me something to the extent of "Why are you working so hard, why don't you just do what the other ag teachers have done and just let us mess around out in the shop?"  I responded to him that I was not hired to mess around, that even though the class was not a core subject that I still had state requirements of what I was suppose to teach and that I can't take a paycheck knowing that I wasn't doing my job.  He didn't understand, he thought it would be great to get paid to sit around.  I explained to him that in his little side business that he has, if he had an employee that he hired to do a certain job and that employee showed up everyday and just played on their cell phone and did nothing, how would he feel as a boss?  Would that person keep their job for long?  Since that time, I have really thought about what it really means to "work unto the Lord".
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” Colossians 3:23-24 NIV. 

      When I started life in the “real world” outside of the safety of being in school or living with my parents, I was incredibly naive.  I honestly thought that when people went to work that they worked hard at whatever they did no matter who their boss was or what their pay scale was.  I actually believed that adults didn’t get caught up in drama or laziness while at work.  Boy was I wrong.  I quickly found out in the real world, many people want to do the bare minimum to get by.  Now, let me start off by saying that I am far from perfect.  There are times when I fall into ruts on the job.  However, I have discovered that no matter what job you have or who your boss is that there will always be struggles.  I decided early on that whoever I worked for or whatever I did for a living that I was going to try to do it as if God himself was my boss.  It shouldn’t matter if you are CEO making high dollar business deals, or if you are scrubbing toilets for the CEO; you should work as if God was your boss.  That can be incredibly hard to do, especially if your job isn’t glamorous or not your “dream” job. 

      There have been jobs in my past that I have loved, as well as those that I simply “survived”.  Those survival jobs are always the hardest to stay focused and dedicated to “working unto the Lord.”  It can be incredibly easy to justify slacking off or not doing your job.  If your boss is unkind or if the job seems unimportant we sometimes tell ourselves that no one will notice anyways.  It is also incredibly easy to not work to your full potential if you have a job where you don’t have constant supervision.  I have had several jobs where it was up to me to get the job done and my boss was either at a different location or simply left me alone.  Don’t be fooled though, eventually your work ethic will show through.  In some jobs it may be in the form of not reaching sales goals, or maybe having customers complain, or as a teacher, students not knowing what they are supposed to know to pass a test.

      The fruits of your labor will always come through.  It may take weeks, months, or even years but eventually your work ethic comes to light.  Having a poor work ethic can cause you to lose commissions, lose out on a promotion, or even lose your job.  It is vitally important during those times of “surviving” a job that you don’t particularly enjoy with a boss you don’t really like, that you press in and work to your full potential.  It is during those times that the Lord is able to see our true character and know if we are ready for the next level he has for us.

One of the most famous story in the Bible about working unto the Lord is the Parable of the Talents.  “For it is just like a man about to go on a journey, who called his own slaves and entrusted his possessions to them.  To one he gave five talents, to another, two, and to another, one, each according to his own ability; and he went on his journey.”  Matthew 25:14-15 NASB.  If you notice, it says in “each according to his own ability”.  God knows where we are in our progression toward maturity.  He does not push us beyond our ability.  Notice also that is does not say that the one with five talents was any better than the one with two, or one.  He simply gave in accordance to the ability of the person.  I think we need to realize this in our own lives.  We may want the next better thing, but maybe we aren’t taking care of the “thing” we have now.  God gives in accordance to how we steward what we have. 

      In the story, the man with five invested what he had and doubled it, the same thing happened with the man who received the two.  However, the man that received one, hid his away and didn’t make a single thing for his master.  His excuse was that he knew that his master was a hard man and he was afraid.  Isn’t that what we do sometimes?  We hold onto or money or our things or even a job because we are afraid.  The slave who received the one talent feared what his master would do if he lost the talent.  I am guilty of the very same thing.  I fear change, I fear missing God’s will, I fear disappointing others, and I fear the unknown.  However, if we want to hear the same words as the two slaves that made good investments for their master “Well done good and faithful servant” we must push through the fear and apprehension no matter who we are working for or what we are called to do.  Regardless of whether we have a wonderful, Godly boss or one who we absolutely dread seeing, we are ultimately working not for man, but for God.

      Over the years I have taught hundreds of teenagers.  Every year I would try to throw some life lessons in with my regular lessons as often as I could.  I would almost always teach kids about integrity.  To give a really simple definition, I would talk to the kids about how integrity is doing the right thing even if no one is watching.  That is so easy to say, not as easy to do.  In reality, if our boss is away or if no one is around because we work remotely or maybe we work from home or are even a stay at home mom, it is incredibly easy to let productivity slide.  I know that I sometimes struggle with that.  However, it’s important to make sure we get the job done no matter who is watching. 

      As a school teacher, I sometimes saw my boss, but many times I would go days or even weeks without seeing them except for in passing walking down the hallways.  It was up to me to make sure what I was required by the state to teach, was being taught.  It would have been easy sometimes to just let the kids do what they wanted and call it a free day, the kids sure would have love it.  However, that is not what I was hired to do and not what I was paid to do.  It’s important to keep that perspective.  Regardless of how we feel or whether we like what we do, that’s what we are hired for.  If you happen to stay at home this can be a huge struggle.  The tasks of a stay at home mom are far from glamorous.  However, there are still jobs that need to be done.  Even though there isn’t a true “boss” in that situation, we are still called to work as if God was our boss.  That means even if folding laundry or washing dishes are things you hate, you can still do the tasks with a grateful heart.

      “Work hard so you can present yourself to God and receive his approval.  Be a good worker, one who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly explains the word of truth.” 2 Timothy 2:15 NLT.

Road Blocks Stopping Us From Reaching The Next Level

      If I were to really get vulnerable and honest, I would have to say that one of the biggest struggles I deal with in my Christian walk is having a quiet time.  I find myself so often making excuses or simply getting lazy and don’t spend the time in God’s Word that I should.  It is so easy in this overly stimulated world that we live in; between phones, television, or even being overly involved in worldly activities, to find ourselves pushing God to the back burner.  Even as I write this, I find myself distracted by what’s going on in the next room, thoughts of my to-do list, and even the worship song I am listening to in attempts to drown out the background noise.  It is a battle I often find myself in.  However, I know deep down that there is nothing more valuable in my Christian walk than immersing myself into God’s word and spending time in his presence.  I don’t think God can make the importance of studying scripture any clearer than what he says in Joshua 1:8 “Study this book of instruction continually, meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it.  Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.”   I believe that sometimes God calls us to a deeper level with him at the moment right before he brings us to the next level in our lives.  That verse comes at the moment when God is just about to allow Joshua to lead the Israelites out of the wilderness and into the Promised Land.  Talk about a new level in life!

      In my own life this has occurred several times.  I can vividly remember one such time as a high school senior at a tremendous crossroads trying to decide what the next step in my life should be.  I had narrowed my choices down to 2 vastly different universities and majors.  One was to study Agricultural Business at a state university and the other was to study Youth Ministry at a Christian university.  I remember praying over and over for guidance, direction, and peace.  It came!  I realized that there was not a sense of peace about going to the Christian university, as noble as that may have been.  God had other things in store for me.  However, I had to really press in to be able to receive the answer I needed.

      Sometimes we put off pressing in.  I know that I am the number one procrastinator in that area because if I get really honest: It’s hard!  It’s hard to unplug and just focus on God.  However, for me at least, it is so very rewarding when I actually do it.  When I finally just get alone with God that is when he can really speak to me.

      There is a story in Luke chapter 10 that shines a light on the value of spending time with the Lord rather than focusing on all of life’s distractions, even if those distractions are not bad things.  It is the story of the two sisters: Martha and Mary.  Martha is a type A personality who is busy preparing a big dinner for Jesus and his disciples, which honestly seems like a wonderful thing to be busy with.  However, her sister is not helping with the preparations; she is instead sitting around listening to what Jesus has to say.  Martha, being the type A person, says to Jesus (paraphrased) “It’s not fair that I’m doing all this work and Mary is doing nothing, tell her to get up and help me.”  Rather than relaying the message to Mary, Jesus tells Martha, “You are worried and upset over all these details!  There is only one thing worth being concerned about.  Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41 NLT. Apparently even Jesus saw the value of stopping and just spending time with the Lord without allowing the distractions of life to get in the way.

      I find myself falling into the same trap as Martha all the time.  Even something as simple as worrying about what I will be cooking for lunch after church can completely distract me from spending time with Jesus and learning what the Lord is trying to speak to me during the actual church service.

      Just like human relationships, our relationship with God is a two-way street.  Good relationships require time and effort on the part of both people involved.  When two people spend a lot of time and energy together they grow closer and enjoy each other’s company.  You really get to know someone when they are a part of your everyday life.  I know so many things about my husband; his likes, dislikes, and favorite hobbies because we have spent countless hours together.  We love each other’s company and we serve each other.  He does many things for me all the time, and I do the same thing for him.  However, if the only time I talked to him was when I needed something and I never even acknowledged him any other time, there would probably be some resentment on his part.  Eventually he may not even want to be in a relationship anymore.

      Fortunately for us, no matter how much we push God away, he never wants to not be in relationship with us.  He seeks to have a relationship with us.  “For the Son of man came to seek and save those who are lost” Luke 19:10 NLT. He came after us.   He is in constant pursuit of us every single day of our life.  “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock.  If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in” Revelation 3:20 NIV.  The catch in that verse is where it says “IF anyone hears my voice AND opens the door.”  That tells me that there is an action required on our part.  We must first hear Gods voice but we also have to allow him in.  That’s where many people, myself included, tend to struggle.  We have to learn how to push past our inhibitions to step into the blessings of God.

Trusting God in Times of Testing

It’s so easy when all is said and done after going through a hard time, to look back and see how God was orchestrating everything, even in the darkest of times.  However, it is sometimes nearly impossible to see those things when we are in the heart of the battle.  So how can we shift our mindset to get out of only seeing God’s hand when we look in the rear-view mirror, to actually being able to see him working even in the deepest trenches in the heart of the battle?  For me at least, this is one of my biggest struggles.  It is so easy to talk about my big faith and how “God works all things together for his good” (Romans 8:28 paraphrased) when everything is “good”.  However, when things aren’t so “good”, panic, doubt, and discouragement can often take hold.  It doesn’t seem to matter how many times God has triumphantly taken us through the hard times, when they hit our fleshly ways seem to always set back in.  So, how can we break free of that cycle?  I wish I had the perfect answer, however, just like everyone else I still struggle through this issue myself.  However, I have found some great ideas on how to manage this struggle throughout the Bible.

      One of my favorite stories about trusting God through the hard times is the story of Joseph.  God gave Joseph a dream at the young age of 17 of the things that He had planned for him.  What a miraculous thing to feel like God himself had shown Joseph a glimpse of the future he had in store for him.  What an amazing moment to have a dream from God! However, that was only the beginning of his journey.  Everything didn’t turn into rainbows and sunshine the moment he had the dream.  He had to go through some difficult and insanely frustrating times to get from the moment of the dream to its actual fulfillment. 

Joseph’s first trial came in the form of betrayal by his own family.  His own brothers (who mind you didn’t particularly like Joseph anyways especially since he was daddy’s favorite son and had recently told them about a dream which involved them bowing down to him), had decided to sell Joseph into slavery.  Now as awful as that is, it does beat what their original plan for him was; they wanted to kill him.  However, it still had to be a devastating blow (I can’t imagine the fear and disappointment of becoming a slave).  I imagine that his mind had to immediately go to a place of depression and doubt.  He had to have thought in the back of his mind that there was no way anyone would bow down to him now.  Even in the midst of this course change, however, Joseph still acted as a Godly man.

He was purchased by a man named Potiphar who was the Captain of the Guard for the Pharaoh.  Joseph worked hard right where God had placed him and he was blessed for it.  Even though he was a slave, his master noticed how God had been blessing his household through Joseph.  He respected Joseph so much that he even promoted him to be in charge of everything he owned.

“The Lord was with Joseph, so he succeeded in everything he did as he served in the home of his Egyptian master.  Potiphar noticed this and realized that the Lord was with Joseph, giving him success in everything he did.  This pleased Potiphar, so he soon made Joseph his personal attendant.  He put him in charge of his entire household and everything he owned.  From the day Joseph was put in charge of his master’s household and property, the Lord began to bless Potiphar’s household for Joseph’s sake.  All his household affairs ran smoothly, and his crops and livestock flourished.  So Potiphar gave Joseph complete administrative responsibility over everything he owned.  With Joseph there, he didn’t worry about a thing-except what kind of food to eat!” Genesis 39:2-6

Joseph was in charge of absolutely everything Potiphar owned.  He wasn’t promoted because he grumbled and complained every day or because he did what he had to do due to the fact he was a slave and had no other choice.  No, he was promoted because he focused on exactly where he was placed and worked unto the Lord to do the very best job that he could do.  God blessed him for that.  He was given a tremendous amount of favor in the eyes of his owner.

That’s where so many of us, myself included, struggle.  I often find myself grumbling and complaining and not focusing on working unto the Lord.  I truly believe, and this is with me not trying to point fingers because they are pointed at me too, that we as humans often stand in the way of God’s blessings.  We get so self-focused that we don’t even realize that the slight (or even major) discomforts we are going through in our lives are meant to refine us and develop us for our future.

For many women, a golden diamond ring is often the most beautiful and prized possession that she will ever receive.  However, the beautiful diamond in the ring did not start out so beautiful.  It had to undergo tremendous amounts of heat and pressure over an extended period of time in order to shine.  The gold also had to endure a heat so intense that all impurities were burned away before it was formed into a beautiful gold band.  It is the same with us as humans.  Often during some of our most challenging times, we are being tested the most.  Those tests are what “refine” us into who it is God intends for us to be.

“Fire tests the purity of silver and gold, but the Lord tests the heart.”  Proverbs 17:3

In my own life, I have found that the tests that have been the most frustrating have often been the very ones that have brought me to the next level.  That is such a hard reality to deal with.  However, if we can get to that realization, it is so much easier to at the least except but hopefully learn how to enjoy the refining process.  That isn’t to say that we need to slap a smile on our face every time something gets tough, however, we can be encouraged during thought times knowing that even when we feel like we are lost in the wilderness that we serve a God that is in control and he knows what we are going through.

“But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.  They will soar high on wings like eagles.  They will run and not grow weary.  They will walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31

Perseverance Part 2

Ok, so I really feel like perseverance has been the theme that the Lord has been speaking to me over the last couple of weeks.  Every time I get discouraged or frustrated with any piece of this journey, that is the word I keep hearing from that still, small voice.  I think that there are so many times when we are going through a trial that a lack of perseverance is the one thing that keeps us from having that breakthrough.
We live in such a microwave society.  What I mean by that is that we even have a hard time waiting the minute and a half for our favorite high sodium, processed snack to finish cooking in the microwave.  That makes it really hard to wait weeks, months, or even years for a victory in our trials.  I think that is especially applicable in weight loss.  Think about new year's resolutions.  It is so common for people to make a weight loss goal after the guilt of overindulging during the holidays sets in.  However, after a month or even a couple of weeks how many people stick to it?  We want instant results (and by we that includes me).  We think if we go to the gym for 20 minutes that we should have 6-pack abs and a tiny hiney.  At least thats what I think sometimes.
Perseverance.  We have to go through the wilderness before we can enter the promised land.  If we don't learn the lessons that we are suppose to while we are in the wilderness, we will just keep going in circles until we do.  Just ask the Israelites ; ).  God wants our total dependance.   We are to seek him first, and not in some legalistic way.  He wants us to come to him with a child-like faith.  That is something that I struggle with tremendously.  I am always trying to make things more difficult than they have to be.  There is no magic formula, if we depend completely on God, he will guide us in the right direction.  You notice how I said the right direction, that doesn't mean it will always be in the direction we think we need to go.  Just like the story I told you in the last blog post about my crazy career path.  I thought I knew what was best and when the rug was ripped out from underneath me it devastated my world.  I remember many occasions of praying the "why God why" prayer.  I am sure you know the one I'm talking about.  However, hindsight is 20/20 and now that I am on the other side looking back I see how God's hand was in every single step in that process.  He had even helped us prepare financially.  About a year before I got laid off, my husband and I had gone through Financial Peace University with our church small group.  Although we weren't rolling in the dough, we had a little bit of savings and had a good budget that we were able to adjust to just his paycheck for a few months.  What a huge blessing.  Now I know without a shadow of a doubt, that I am exactly where I am suppose to be at this point in my life.  Who knows what the future will hold, but with God's help, I will keep listening and persevering.
I heard a song tonight while I was jogging (believe it or not just started week 3 of the couch to 5K program) that really hit me.  It is one of my favorite Christian songs right now and it is called One Thing Remains by Kristian Stanfill.  I wanted to put the lyrics because they are simple, but so profound.

Higher than the mountains that I face
Stronger than the power of the grave
Constant through the trial and the change
One thing remains
One thing remains

Your love never fails it never gives up it never runs out on me x3

On and one and on and on it goes
It overwhelms and satisfies my soul
And I never ever have to be afraid
One thing remains

In death and in life I'm confident and covered by the power of your great love
My debt is paid there's nothing that can separate my heart from your great love

Perseverance

If I had to pick one word to describe the journey I have been on over the last several years it would definitely be perseverance.  This perseverance is not just speaking to my weight loss journey, it applies to every area of my life (and anyone's really).  We as humans so many times want to jump onto easy street and get from point A to point B with little to no resistance.  However, that is often not the way it goes.  Sometimes God has a different idea of how we should get from point A to B, and more often than not, that can include hitting a few other points first.  Now does he do that to just watch us squirm and hear us whine?  I don't think so.  Not by a long shot.
There are so many times throughout the Bible that we are called "Children of God".  I like to take that in a very literal sense.   I truly believe that God is our Father, and as such he only wants what is the very best for us.  He doesn't allow us to enter into a situation without already knowing the outcome of that situation.  Just as an earthly parent will bend over backwards and stand before a bullet for their child if they need to, I believe God will (and has, think Jesus on the cross) do anything possible to only allow only the best for his children.  Now, does that mean that we are never going to have issues or problems in our lives?  Absolutely not!  In my opinion there are two kinds of trials that we might find ourselves in: trials that we bring upon ourselves through going against God's best will for us (comes from our sins or by simply ignoring the promptings of the Holy Spirit), and trials that we have absolutely no control over.  I believe that regardless of which kind of trial we may find ourselves in, God has a way out of it.  Here is the catch:  although there are times where God will miraculously get us out of our problems, more often than not he is going to help us through our problems.
When I graduated college in 2006 with a degree in Agricultural Business, I landed an awesome job where I would be doing the exact thing that I wanted to do which was  to buy grain from farmers (I know I am a hick what can I say).  I loved my job.  I got to work with farmers directly and I got to dabble in the commodities markets, It was a blast.  Of course, it had its challenges and I definitely did my fair share of griping anytime we had a policy change (we humans hate change don't we), but as a whole I really enjoyed that job.  However, after having worked for a little over 3 years, I got word that the facility I worked at was being shut down.  I was absolutely devastated.  I either had to move to keep my job, or I was going to be laid off.  My husband and I talked and prayed about it and really didn't feel any peace about moving so decided that I would just search for a new job.  Talk about a period of questioning God!  I went about 2 1/2 months (very long months) before I landed another job.  Definitely a period of perseverance as I finally resorted to simply cold calling every single business that I thought I might potentially want to work at.  I got a job as a office manager trainee at a local feedyard and once again I was pretty excited at my new position.  However, within about a month's time I realized that being stuck in an office doing the same thing day in and day out was not really something I enjoyed.  Talk about discouraging.  I even kept quiet about my feelings toward my new job for a little while, I didn't even tell my husband, I thought maybe I just needed to give it time.  Of course, my attitude toward this new job didn't get better.  I felt like I had totally missed the mark.  I must not have been listening close enough to what God wanted for me, at least what I thought.  I had been doing a lot of thinking during this time and finally talked about it with my husband (which I probably should have done a little sooner).  I started to feel like maybe I was suppose to be a teacher (drastic career change, I know).  After another month or so of hating my job I decided to start working toward my teaching certificate.  I was so determined to get out of the job that I hated that I finished my online courses in about 5 months time and, thanks to a husband who was already a teacher, I landed an interview for the position I have still today, an 8th grade math teacher.  As you can probably figure out, I got that job.  I gave my 2 weeks notice and started substitute teaching for the last 1 1/2 months of school, then taught summer school before starting as a full time teacher the following fall.
Why do I tell you all that?  Well, now that I am able to look back on that extremely financially tight, emotionally draining, frustrating, tiring year, I know that it was a huge blessing.  God was guiding every single step of that journey.  Even the job that I hated was at least a way of paying the bills until my real job opened up.  That was one of those "out of my control" trial periods.  I persevered through that time because of a couple of things; 1) I never lost my faith, I may have gotten frustrated or discouraged but I always came back to my faith and the knowledge that God is my Father and wants only the best for me, 2) I took steps of faith to change my situation (i.e. finding a new job and taking the teacher certification classes), and 3) I had a husband who let me cry on his shoulders from time to time.
Now, when it comes to my weight loss journey (you knew I would get their eventually), I look at that situation more as a trial that I have brought on myself.  There is no denying my love for chocolate, what can I say!  However, even though I have a great deal of the responsibility in my situation, God still wants only the best for me (remember the Heavenly Father deal).  He wants to see me get through this and learn from it.  I can honestly say that going though this journey has been a blessing, although I can still pray for that miraculous size zero, right?  I feel like I am learning and growing every single day because in times of weakness or when I just want to give up, rather than turning to the coke or candy bar, I am starting to learn how to turn to God with my troubles.  I think that as a parent, that is what he desires.  Just like when our own earthly children are going through something, as much as we may just want to fix the problem for them, we know that sometimes it is best for our child to learn for themselves, with us standing on the sidelines guiding and encouraging them.

Weight Loss...Totally An Algebra Problem ; )

I feel like I am in such a different place in this journey than I have ever been before during different times that I have lost weight.  I am really trying to focusing more on the getting healthy part of the journey more than I am a number on a scale or a clothing size.  I really feel like changing my focus has been so helpful for me to stick to this.  I think sometimes we are just focused on a number so much that when we hit that number, or even just get close to it, we let go of the habits that helped us to lose the weight and go back to doing what we did before.  I know that is what happened to me.  When I graduated high school I lost quite a bit of weight before going to college.  I managed to keep it off for the entire time I was in college, however, once I graduated I was traveling a lot in my new job and bad decisions and lack of exercise took over.  I went back to bad habits that had gotten me in the situation where I needed to lose weight in the first place.  I am trying to remember that this is a lifestyle change, not just a quick fix.
In one of my very first blog posts I mentioned that one of my favorite books on the spiritual aspects of how we treat our body is a book called "Made To Crave" by Lysa Terkheurst.  About a week ago I decided to start at the beginning and read through it again.  I am so glad I am going back through it.  I am really getting a whole lot more out of it than I did the first time through.
I had to laugh when I was reading last night because the chapter I was on was a perfect fit for this math teacher.  She talked about how one pound of fat is equivalent to 3500 calories.  Therefore, losing weight is really just a simple math equations, burn more than you consume.  However, she made such a good point when she said that rather than it being a simple math equation, she looked at as more of an algebraic equation.  In algebra you don't only use numbers, you also use letters that are called variables.  There are variables in losing weight and, for women especially, some of those variables can be emotional.  We need to be able to identify those variables to really be able to get the most of our weight loss journey.  Whether you are an emotional eater because you have hurts in your past or present and are trying to fill a void, or maybe you just like to snack when your bored (I fit in that category), it is so important to identify that so that you can change it.
I really hope that if you are serious about getting healthy that you are seeking God on your journey.  You cannot separate the physical from the spiritual, as I am learning.  I also challenge you to take a look at the book that I have been talking about for yourself.