Since becoming a parent 4 1/2 years ago, I have probably learned more about God as our Father than I ever knew before having children. Before having kids, I thought I knew everything about them. When I saw kids acting up, I would often think the same thing that many people without children think; "why don't you get your child under control". Oh boy, did I have a lot to learn in the realm of parenting (and I still do). Having kids is tough, and having a strong willed child (or two) adds even another layer of difficulty to the process. It's hard to get kids to do what you want them to do. It isn't quite as easy to make sure your kids are well behaved as my childless self seemed to believe.
Do you ever think that God feels that way with us sometimes? Now before you throw the "God loves us unconditionally" at me, go with me for a second. Do you ever think sometimes God is watching us struggle to do something that he knows isn't the best thing for us and has shut the door on a couple of times just shaking his head? Now don't get me wrong, I don't think God gets mad at us when we mess up, but from time to time he may just want us to listen to him the first time. That's a phrase I find myself saying to my 4 year old all the time. "If you would have just listened to me the first time I told you to get off the chair, you wouldn't have fallen and hit your head." I think that sometimes when we do something that we know isn't God's will, he may think the same thing. "If you would have just listened to me the first time and been patient while you were waiting for a new house instead of doing things your way, you wouldn't be in the massive amount of debt you are now." Or maybe "If you would have just listened to me and been content in your circumstances and not gone negative, you would have gotten that promotion. Instead your boss gave it to someone else that didn't complain and gossip all the time."
Now I don't believe for a second that God wants anything but the best for us, but sometimes I think he lets us deal with the results of our actions in order to help us learn and grow for the next time. "Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing." James 1:2-4 NLT. This is my absolute go to verse every time I am going through a trial (actually the whole book of James really). We need to embrace those learning experiences and actually learn from them.
Like I said at the beginning, having kids will teach you more about God as our Father than anything else I have experienced. As a parent, when your child is learning to walk you have to allow them to fall to develop their muscles to get back up again. God, as our heavenly parent, sometimes allows us to “fall” by going through times of trials to help us develop our muscles of trust and endurance in him.
I know when I watched my kids learn how to walk, it was often hard not to just go pick them up and carry them, but I knew how badly they wanted, and needed, to be able to do it on their own. I truly believe that God does the same for us. He sees us struggle and get frustrated, but he resists the urge at times to immediately lift us out of our struggles because he knows how important the lessons we will learn in those struggles are to our growth as Christians. As hard as it is to admit in the midst of a discouraging or hard time, in my experiences, once I have gotten through the trial I can see what a blessing it was. We have to remember during difficult times that we see what is directly in front and behind us. God is all-knowing, he not only sees in front and behind; he sees all of eternity.
I remember vividly a time when I was walking with my then 2-year-old daughter near a very steep cliff. I knew how far of a drop it was and how dangerous it would be for her to get near it. However, my 2-year-old was walking with her head down seeing only 1 step at a time. When she was as close to the drop-off as I felt comfortable, I made her stop. Of course, she didn’t understand and threw a royal fit hoping to get her way and be able to keep going. No matter how upset she got, I refused to let her go ahead. What kind of mom would I be had I just let my daughter walk off a cliff because that’s what she wanted? I think we do the exact same thing to God sometimes. He sees danger or a wrong decision ahead and he puts an immediate stop to it. Often we just don’t understand so, just like a 2-year-old, we throw a fit. Maybe we get mad at God, or get depressed, or get angry. I know there are so many times I have done exactly that. But we must remember at those times we see such a small piece of the big picture of what God has in store for us if we would simply put ALL of our trust in him. (I know, way easier said than done)
“Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart; do NOT depend on your own understanding. Seek HIS will in ALL you do, and HE will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT (emphasis mine).
I experienced another similar incident of seeing a glimpse of God as a parent this weekend. I was taking my girls for a walk and their independence started to kick in. Now you need to understand in case you don't have the honor of living in the Western panhandle of Texas that the month of October can be a little rough. It tends to get extremely dry and super windy about this time of the year. That being said, it can get a little sandy on the dirt roads. That makes it tough to push a stroller with a 2 year old and 9 month old. You have to move around on the road to stay out of the sand. Now my 4 year old loves to push the stroller, but she doesn't really understand the concept of looking up to see where you are going. She pushes with her head down.
When you push a stroller with your head down, you only see a step ahead of yourself and the place the stroller has already been. It gives you no idea of what is ahead. When she pushed like this she kept running the stroller off the road. Everything in me wanted to grab the stroller from her and just push it myself, but it donned on me that that doesn't teach her anything. This is about the moment I really felt the Lord telling me that this is what I do in life ALOT. I look only at my immediate circumstances and don't see what is ahead in anticipation of the 2 degree changes I need to make to keep the stroller on the road. I decided to use this as a learning opportunity for myself and my 4 year old. I made her stop and explained to her the proper way to push the stroller. I told her that she had to look up and see whats in front of her to stay out of the sand. I explained how to keep the stroller on the hard part of the road and out of the sandy parts. Finally, I told her that if she looked down she would not be going straight anymore anymore and would end up in the sand. She tried again.
As long as she kept her head up, focusing on the goal, she did excellent. However, when her head went back down, to the sand she went.
I couldn't help but think about Peter stepping out of that boat. As long as he kept his eyes on Jesus, he was able to stay on top of the water. However, the minute he looked away, down he went. God wants us to walk on the water. He wants us to do great things and reach the goals he has placed in us. However, if we only focus on our circumstances right this second or if we look away from God because "I thought it should have happened by now", then we will end up in the sand. I will tell you from experience that pushing that stroller through the sand is not fun. It requires an extreme amount of effort and makes the walk not much fun. I would rather keep my head up and focus on the goal to get to that destination a whole lot quicker, and enjoy the journey along the way. I am just so thankful to have a Father in Heaven who knows the perfect times to let us struggle a little with that stroller, as well as when it's time for him to grab the handle and push for a little while.
