An Introduction to Tom

                I would like you to meet Tom. Now, before you think I am a crazy cat lady and stop reading, hear me out. I am not writing about Tom because I am excited about a new cat. As a matter of fact, if you have been around my house you will know that we have about seven thousand barn cats, so a new cat is no big thing. Actually, Tom is not even my cat.

                As you probably figured out, Tom is, of course, a tom cat. About 6 months ago, he just showed up at our house from who knows where. What makes him special is the story behind the cat.

                When Tom showed up at our house he looked like a body builder on steroids. He was scratched up and looked like he had seen a few fights in his day.  He seemed to have no fears, and has been known to go after the dogs if they try to get too close. We didn’t mind having him around, because living where we do, we want to keep mice and snakes to a minimum, and cats seem to do a good job of that. Because of his mean nature though, we told our girls to stay away from him.

                A strange thing has happened over the last 6 months with Tom. When he first showed up, he was incredible scared of us. He stayed out by the barn and would run and hide every time we came near where he was at. But, over time, he started to get curious. He realized that we weren’t after him so he started getting braver and braver. He started coming closer and closer to the house, until he eventually started sitting on the porch.

                At this point he was still pretty scared of us, and would run off if we acted like we were going to go near to him. We continued to tell the girls to stay away from him because he might scratch or bite them. But I could tell he was changing. Slowly, as he got more brave and trusting of us, I made the first move. I slowly moved over to him and softly pet him on the back. He didn’t attack, but he did run away. Over the next few days he let me pet him a little more. Finally, after realizing I wasn’t going to hurt him, he actually let me pet him for a while.

                He slowly started to get brave with the girls, and now loves to be scratched behind the ears. He has even turned out to be quite the protector. If he feels like our basset hound, Murph, is getting too close he will step in and block him. He is now one of my favorite cats because he just loves being where we are.

                That sweet cat really made me think a lot about how easy it is to judge someone, or something, before we really know them. Growing up I learned, as most of us did, how to pass judgement on others. Whether we judge them because of the family they came from, where they grew up, or what they look like, the majority of people have some pre-conceived notions about other people. I know I do. But, just like that cat, you may not know what a sweet person they may be.

                Over the course of my life, I have had several occasions to learn the value of not judging a book by it’s cover. I have struggled with being judgmental pretty much my whole life, and even today still catch myself. I even debated writing about this, because I do still struggle in this area. But, we are told to confess our sins one to another (See James 5:16).

The first real chance I had to learn the lesson that you can’t always believe your pre-conceived notions and rumors was in the process of getting to know my husband. I was humbled so much when I learned how, under the sometimes rough exterior, this guy was a very thoughtful, intelligent, and caring man of tremendous integrity. That was really the start of the process of re-thinking my judgmental ways.

                After moving to Texas, I started going to a church where, once again, I learned a little more about not jumping on the judgement train too soon. The church had an incredible worship leader who you could tell really had a heart for God. However, one Sunday he dressed a little different than we were used to, and you could see how he was covered in tattoos. I was a little surprised and thought about jumping on the judgements again, but he proceeded to tell us about his past and how he came to Christ. It was such a great story of conversion, I felt terrible about having any negative thoughts.

                The biggest learning experience for me in the area of passing judgement though, has definitely been in my time as a teacher. I have heard so many heartbreaking stories from students who tend to get in trouble at school. More often than not, they simply crave attention and need love from others, they just don't know how to get it.

                We are called to love people. Not just people like us, but ALL people. Jesus himself said “’You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.  A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40 NLT.

                Jesus tells us that it is equally important to love God and love others. That love doesn’t mean that we continue to let them live in sin if that’s what is going on. It does, on the other hand, mean that no matter what, we love each other.

                I have definitely not arrived, unfortunately. However, I pray that each day that goes by would teach me to look at people through the eyes of Jesus, rather than through my own.

                “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:3-5 NIV

Distractions

     

 

      One of my absolute favorite things about my short time as stay-at-home mom has been the revival of my personal quiet time.  On a typical day, I get my oldest daughter up and ready to go to school, when she leaves with her dad (who also happens to be the principal at her school), I have a little bit of time before the other two girls get up.  I have cherished that time.  Rather than go back to bed, which can be a temptation, I have tried to use that quiet time to read my Bible, read a devotional, watch some of my favorite preachers that I have recorded, or even write this blog if there is something on my mind.  It has been such a great thing for me spiritually to intentionally take time by myself to immerse in God’s word.  Over the last few months I have gone from doing this as a duty, to actually looking forward to it.  I actually hate to miss it on those days that both of my other girls happen to wake up early.  It’s been kind of funny to me since becoming more intentional about reading my Bible, how many distractions seem to come up. 

“But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 11:3 NIV.  There is nothing that Satan wants more than for us to be distracted when we are spending time learning about God.  This morning was a perfect example.  We just started a new study about the Holy Spirit in my ladies Bible study group.  It is a really great study so far.  I started on the work book last night and was going to continue this morning.  However, for the life of me I could not find a pen that would work.  I tried every pen I could find and none of them would work.  I spent 10-15 minutes on this stupid little problem.  The thought crossed my mind to wait until later to work on it because I was getting frustrated.  However, when that thought came to mind I sensed that the pen issue was just a distraction of the enemy to keep me from doing the study.  So, instead of quitting, I found a pencil instead and sat back down to get to work.  Wouldn’t you know it, the minute I started writing, the lead on my pencil broke.  I actually laughed out loud at this pathetic attempt of the enemy.  I clicked out some new lead and kept going.

It’s so easy to allow life to distract us from pressing into God.  After all, we have a lot of things going on; demands at work, kids needing us, laundry and dishes, bills to pay, and even church events.  We are so busy that it can be easy to skip our time reading our Bibles.  I am so guilty of that.  However, one of the most common questions Christians have is, “how can I hear from God.”  Our first method of hearing from God is by reading His word, the Bible. “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” 2 Timothy 3:16-17 NIV.  If we don’t spend time in the word, we may miss out on what God is trying to tell us.  And don’t be fooled, simply reading to check of the box of your “read through the Bible” list may not give you the same benefit as actually digging into what you are reading and trying to understand it.  For example, when I taught math I would have never just told the kids to just read the chapter and do their work.  They would have been completely lost if I would have done that, and likely would have given up altogether (like many Christians do).  If I did have them read something I would explain it to them as they read.  God does the same thing with us.  He doesn’t want us just to read and then go about our day.  He wants us to allow him to explain through His Holy Spirit what we are reading.  However, if we give into every distraction and never stop long enough to be focused, we are going to miss out on what God is trying to tell us.

I am guilty of giving into the distractions.  Whether its housework, my favorite TV show, social media, my phone, or just plain laziness, I have done it all.  However, I have always benefitted during the times I put all those distractions away and allowed the teacher to explain what I just read.  It’s absolutely amazing how, when you do that, you may even get a fresh perspective on verses that are so familiar that you think you already know everything there is to know about them.  I encourage you, carve out some time in your day to spend letting God reveal to you exactly what He wants to teach you.

Gifts

                I love giving gifts.  I love spending time picking something out for someone I care about.  Several years ago I went through the Love Languages book by Gary Chapman and, no surprise, gifts was one of my top 2 love languages (the other one high up on the list was words of affirmation).  Now before you misunderstand, I am not a high maintenance person who expects fancy expensive gifts from my husband and others.  No, quite the opposite.  I love a simple hand written card, homemade gift, or just when my husband thinks of me and gives me an unexpected Dr. Pepper from the gas station.  The thing I love about gifts is knowing that someone was thinking about me.  I am all about the thought process behind the gift.  However, the emotional side of gift giving can be a hard thing to swallow when I happen to give someone a gift they don’t like or is not exactly what they were hoping for.  Over the years, I have had a few of those gifts that kind of just a flop. 

I remember my first married Christmas when I bought something for my husband that I thought he really wanted, only to get a hesitant “thanks” when he opened it.  Now don’t get me wrong, he did appreciate the gift, however, it wasn’t exactly the brand that he was wanting because I am sometimes too much of a bargain shopper and got him the cheaper version.  The thing you must know is that when it comes to love languages, gifts is one of the lowest for my husband so he doesn’t always think about the back story and thought process behind the gift.  There have been other times when I gave a gift to someone that I had spent a lot of time picking out or making, and never even received a thank you.  That can be frustrating and sometimes can cause disappointment for a person like me.

Matthew 7:9-11 (NLT) says, “You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.”  This got me to thinking about how often I have not been grateful for the gifts in my life.  How many times in our lives have we received a blessing, maybe a new job we had prayed for, healthy children, or simply a roof over our head and food in our belly, and not given thanks for it?  I know, for me at least, it has been far more often than I care to admit.  I sometimes get my feelings hurt when others are ungrateful, how must it grieve God every single day when we don’t even acknowledge the things He has done for us? We are told “Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NLT). 

God is a wonderful gift giver, although, unlike us as parents sometimes, he gives us exactly what we need and not always what we want.  He is patient with us when we unwrap the gift to simply utter an insincere “thanks”.  He knows how even though it may not look like it, the lost job, missed promotion, or unfulfilled dream, are simply stepping stones to get us to where we are called to be. “Remember what I accomplished in antiquity! Truly I am God, I have no peer; I am God, and there is none like me, who announces the end from the beginning and reveals beforehand what has not yet occurred, who says, ‘My plan will be realized, I will accomplish what I desire,’” Isaiah 46:9-10 (NET).  I love that.  When I get discouraged because of my immediate circumstances, I try to remember that He knows the end from the beginning.  He sees when the right turn I am wanting to take through what looks like a field of beautiful flowers, is actually a steep cliff in just a few feet.  I don’t know about you, but I want to submit to that, be thankful, and trust that He really does have a divine plan for my life.

“For I know what I have planned for you,’ says the Lord. ‘I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope. When you call out to me and come to me in prayer, I will hear your prayers. When you seek me in prayer and worship, you will find me available to you. If you seek me with all your heart and soul, I will make myself available to you,’ says the Lord. ‘Then I will reverse your plight and will regather you from all the nations and all the places where I have exiled you,’ says the Lord. ‘I will bring you back to the place from which I exiled you.’” Jeremiah 29:11-14 (NET, Emphasis mine).

Mundane Blessings?

    

Throughout the course of a person’s life, we are faced with a series of good times, not so good times, and even the occasional periods where we really aren’t sure if we will make it through. It’s during these different periods of our lives that we also find ourselves in different phases of our Christian walk. There are times when we feel as though God doesn’t care, couldn’t be further from our situation, or perhaps doesn’t even exist. However, we also experience times of extreme closeness and intimacy with God. Why is that? Is God truly far away at times, or do we keep God from being close to us?


When the Israelites left Egypt during the Exodus they were riding high on the miracles they had just seen. They had lived through the Passover, numerous plagues, and had finally, after 400 years of slavery, been set free. To top all of these miracles off they even got to see God part the Red Sea right before their eyes. They could not have possibly felt any closer to God at that time. The Israelites were so on fire for the Lord that as they crossed the Red Sea they even began to sing praises (see Exodus 15:1-18). They were extremely focused and their faith was strengthened. However, as you probably know, that is not the end of the story.


Two and a half months into their wilderness journey (after numerous blessings), they were in the Desert of Sin (ironic name don't you think?). The people began to grumble (not the first time if you read the whole story). They kept talking about how they should have stayed in Egypt because at least there they had all the food they wanted. Like we so many times today do, the minute something gets uncomfortable, we want to quit and go back to the comfort of the way things used to be, even if that means going back into bondage. The gut reaction of the Israelites was not to look to God, who had saved them from the plagues, rescued them from slavery, made it possible to walk on dry land in the middle of the red sea, and had turned bitter water into water that was drinkable (see Exodus 15:25); instead they looked to their circumstances and took their eyes off their provider. How many times have you done that? I know that I have done it more times than I could possibly count, or would honestly care to admit


Why is it that we as humans have such a hard time with change? We get comfortable with where we live and a certain group of friends. We find something we like at a restaurant and never order anything else. We even do this at church. Have you ever tried sitting in a pew where someone else usually sits? Why is that? Do we enjoy monotony? Are we a boring species? I don’t think so at all. I believe that we as humans like to put up walls and form comfort zones. It can be uncomfortable or even hard to move to a new town or start a new job. Because of that we so often find ourselves settling for less than God’s will for us. This applies to every aspect of our lives; from where we work, to who we marry, even to how we treat our physical bodies. Change is hard. No matter how much we know in our head about the benefits, we struggle to break our old, comfortable habits and ways.


Despite the grumbling of the Israelites, God still blessed them as they complained about how hungry they were. What I love about this story is how God chose to do it. Rather than just show them some animals or a fruit tree, he chose to feed them Manna directly from heaven (see Exodus 16:4-5). What an amazing blessing! To ensure that they could only gather enough for one day, any leftovers would actually rot. Talk about “give us this day our daily bread”. I have to be honest though, I struggle with that. I am a worrier by nature and I cannot fault the Israelites for wanting to gather extra Manna each day. Isn’t that just like us as humans, we are focused not just on today, but we are looking at tomorrow. Even if God just finished blessing us, we are worried about 5 years down the road, as if God doesn’t already know about what will happen then as well. The funny thing about God is that he expects us to do that, he knows our nature, he created us after all. If you look at the story of the Israelites, they still tried to gather enough Manna to store for later, however, it served them no purpose because it went bad.


God didn’t stop the Israelites from gathering more than they needed, however, it served them no purpose. It was God’s intention for them to really learn how to trust in him. When we do see blessings happen, we must be careful to not take them for granted. The Israelites had an incredible, daily blessing literally falling from heaven. However, that became routine for them. After all, they had been following a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night (see Exodus 13:20-22). They started to take the miraculous for granted and every time they got bored or wanted something different they would grumble and complain. Don’t we do the same thing? I know there have been times when I have followed the exact same pattern as the Israelites. I get in a desperate time of struggling, seek God for his help, and he miraculously comes through for me. However, sometimes the very next day, I am grumbling and complaining again. Why is it that we as humans constantly do that? Why is it so hard to be content and enjoy where we are? Why can’t we take a step back and savor the blessings of the Lord every day?


God’s blessings should never become mundane, but they do. When he blesses us over and over we sometimes come to simply expect it. Just like a spoiled child, we throw a temper tantrum when we don’t get what we want. When I think about my own life, I see that even in myself. I have taken God’s blessings for granted so many times, simply because I have come to expect them. However, just like a child, when I have had to patiently wait, save up, or work hard to get what I have been wanting, I appreciate that blessing so much more. We need to learn how to have that thankful attitude more often. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NLT) says “Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” It’s God’s will that we could learn to be content and thankful no matter we may be going through.

Hard Verse to Swallow

We all know it.  For Christians, it’s probably one of the most familiar things that we have all recited.  I’m referring, of course, to what we call The Lord’s Prayer.  This prayer is the pattern given by Jesus of how we should pray.  It’s found in Matthew 6:9-13 “This, then, is how you should pray: ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.’”  I have heard and recited this prayer so many times that it has kind of become something that I mindlessly say without really thinking about it. 

                However, recently this prayer has struck me in a way that is slightly uncomfortable.  In particular the part about “forgive us as we forgive others”.  That’s a scary thing to pray if you happen to hold any unforgiveness.  Do we really want God to forgive us the way that we forgive others?  I can honestly say that until recently, that is not what I wanted.  I had a few people that I secretly harbored unforgiveness for, whether I consciously realized it or not. 

                I love to listen to various podcasts while I am cleaning throughout the day and about a month ago I heard one about unforgiveness.  Since that time, I have really been mulling that over in my mind, and digging into scripture to read more about it.  There are several things that God has to say about forgiving others.  Here are a few verses just as examples:

                 1.       Immediately after the Lord’s prayer in Matthew 6, the very next verses say this, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15.  These words are in red folks, that means they came from Jesus himself.  Not only are we told to forgive others, we are also told that if we don’t forgive others, God will not forgive us.  That should absolutely terrify us and that alone should inspire us to forgive others.

                 2.       “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’” Matthew 18:21-22.  We are told to forgive continually.  That means even if the same person sins against you time and time again, you still need to forgive them.  That doesn’t mean that we are excusing their action, it means that we are not going to continue to hold it against them. 

a.       Immediately after this verse, Jesus goes on to tell the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant.  If you are unfamiliar with this parable I recommend going and reading Matthew 18, but in a nutshell, a man was shown a ton of mercy by a king by being forgiven of a tremendous debt that he could not pay.  He then turned around and demanded payment from someone who owed him a small about but who also could not pay.  Rather than extending the same mercy as he had received, he had that person thrown in prison.  This got back to the King who was not happy.  The king handed him over to the jailers to be tortured until he could pay back all he owed.  Jesus ended the parable by saying “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” Matthew 18:35. Have you felt any torture in your life? Maybe there’s someone you need to forgive from your heart.

                 3.       “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” Matthew 5:23-24.  We are told to reconcile before approaching God.  That’s a pretty big deal.  To me that means that if we want our prayers to be heard, we have got to forgive others. 

The most interesting (and honestly the hardest) thing I have noticed in the last month or two of digging a little deeper, is that we are not told to forgive only if the other person deserves it or if they ask us for forgiveness and pay us back for the damage done.  No, we are simply told to continually forgive others.  This is not dependent on the other person.  It isn’t dependent on if they deserve it.  And it isn’t dependent on if they are even repentant.  Forgiving others doesn’t even always affect others.  However, it does impact us.  If we are not forgiving someone, that person and their actions tend to constantly be in the back of our minds.  We develop hatred and even wish ill on that person.  In severe situations, it may even impact our health.  If we forgive someone it doesn’t excuse that person.  It does, however, release us from the oppression of the sin that person committed against us.  God still tells us, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’” Romans 12:19.  God is still in charge.  Just like I always tell my daughter when she starts yelling at her sister, “I’m the mommy, you aren’t, if your sister is being bad let me take care of it, not you.”.  God is telling us, “I’m God, you aren’t, if your brother or sister are being bad let me take care of it, not you.”.  Whoever you may need to forgive, I encourage you to sit down and get serious with God and let that burden go.